Erotic massage is similar to a typical body massage, except that the genitals are also included as part of the treatment. For men and women, the massage begins the same way—with slow, soothing strokes and rubbing along the back, neck legs, arms, belly, face and head. During erotic massage, however, introduce the genitals as subtly as you can. Do this by brushing them lightly with your fingertips (or long hair, if you have it) as you work your way down to the legs, and back up. This serves to awaken arousal, preparing the body for sexual attention.

Giving a man a truly great erotic massage involves delaying orgasm as long as possible. If you know your partner well enough to know when he’s just about to hit the point of no return, good for you. If not, your partner should make some sort of signal for you to stop before he ejaculates. Don’t withdraw your hands completely; simply slow your movements or switch to a deep thigh massage, using the same rhythm as you had just been using on this penis. (Changing rhythm can be too jarring and you’ll lose the mood.). Continue the stimulation/retraction sequence at least three times. The resulting orgasm will be much more intense.

A well-delivered massage erotic or otherwise, can be as deeply intimate as the sexual act itself. Sometimes even more so. By incorporating tender touching into our regular couple-time, we open the gates of connection between ourselves, our beloved, and the third being between us: the relationship itself.